A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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