i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
