If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I think a kid would responsible me up
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Randomize
