her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
