he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
