i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
