I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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