were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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