iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
