She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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