I can't breathe out the right side of my face
barbara walters just said penis...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
