I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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