When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
