I think I died a long time ago.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
