Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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