That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm sobbing to NWA
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
