they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he was CRYING into my vagina
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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