I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
