ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Two words: blizzard sex
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
