why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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