things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
