You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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