his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
