ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Randomize
