She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so let's talk penis.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
