i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
