those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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