is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
