I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i will never coherently bang her
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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