I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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