The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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