The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
