she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
