I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
