He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
