I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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