Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
no you cant smoke seaweed
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
