I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
