I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Randomize
