I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
