bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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