Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
