I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
