Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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