the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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