TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
