If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
