I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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