2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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