Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
