Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I love having hate sex.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
